Chocolate-Covered Sarcasm

Sometimes I put words on the Internet.

drake & josh

  • season 1: drake helps josh w/ a crush
  • season 4: drake & josh accidentally sell an orangutan to a man who eats orangutans
timestitcher:

magnusthecactus:

doctormemelordmd:

pan-pirate:

d-i-y-orgasms:

the-youngest-gandor-brother:

blackcr0wking:

fangirling-so-hard-rn:

nowyoukno:

Now You Know (Source)

Crows are scaryThey
use tools
Can be taught to speak (like parrots)
Have huge brains for birds
like seriously their brain-to-body size ratio is equal to that of a chimpanzee
They vocalize anger, sadness, or happiness in response to things
they are scary smart at solving puzzles
some ravens stay with their mates until one of them dies
they can remember faces
SIDENOTE HERE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT.  They did an experiment where these guys wore masks and some of them fucked with crows.  Pretty soon the crows recognized the masks = douchebag.  But the nice guys with masks they left alone.  THEN, OH WE’RE NOT DONE, NO SIR crows that WEREN’T EVEN IN THE EXPERIMENT AND NEVER SAW THE MASK BEFORE knew about mask-dudes and attacked them on sight.  THEY PASSED ON THE FUCKING INFORMATION TO THEIR CROW BUDDIES.
They remember places where crows were killed by farmers and change their migration patterns.
Guys I’m really scared of crows now.(q) 

i love crows so much

crows are amazing

My favorite legend is that crows are the souls of the dead

crows are the coolest shit

Yeah but have you seen this 


this post can’t get any better

Two years ago I fed one mated pair of crows. He must have passed the word because next nesting season I open up my door and this was awaiting me.  This doesn’t even capture the additional 20 or so in the trees and upper power lines.

BTW, cat chow and peanuts are great crow food.  It makes for strong shells.  

timestitcher:

magnusthecactus:

doctormemelordmd:

pan-pirate:

d-i-y-orgasms:

the-youngest-gandor-brother:

blackcr0wking:

fangirling-so-hard-rn:

nowyoukno:

Now You Know (Source)

Crows are scary
They

  • use tools
  • Can be taught to speak (like parrots)
  • Have huge brains for birds
  • like seriously their brain-to-body size ratio is equal to that of a chimpanzee
  • They vocalize anger, sadness, or happiness in response to things
  • they are scary smart at solving puzzles
  • some ravens stay with their mates until one of them dies
  • they can remember faces
  • SIDENOTE HERE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT.  They did an experiment where these guys wore masks and some of them fucked with crows.  Pretty soon the crows recognized the masks = douchebag.  But the nice guys with masks they left alone.  THEN, OH WE’RE NOT DONE, NO SIR crows that WEREN’T EVEN IN THE EXPERIMENT AND NEVER SAW THE MASK BEFORE knew about mask-dudes and attacked them on sight.  THEY PASSED ON THE FUCKING INFORMATION TO THEIR CROW BUDDIES.
  • They remember places where crows were killed by farmers and change their migration patterns.

Guys I’m really scared of crows now.
(q

i love crows so much

crows are amazing

My favorite legend is that crows are the souls of the dead

crows are the coolest shit

Yeah but have you seen this 

image

this post can’t get any better

Two years ago I fed one mated pair of crows. He must have passed the word because next nesting season I open up my door and this was awaiting me.  This doesn’t even capture the additional 20 or so in the trees and upper power lines.

BTW, cat chow and peanuts are great crow food.  It makes for strong shells.  

(via comic-chick)

thetimetravelersguidetothegalaxy:

my blog is like this fucking grab bag except you never exactly know what you’re going to get in said bag

is it fandom???

is it feminist rants???

is it food???

who knows you could probably find a fucking crocodile in there

(Source: 8bitflowers, via comic-chick)

Ten rape prevention tips:

1. Don’t put drugs in women’s drinks.

2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.

3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to rape her.

4. If you are in an elevator and a woman gets in, don’t rape her.

5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not rape her.

6. Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or rape her.

7. Remember, people go to the laundry room to do their laundry. Do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

8. Use the Buddy System! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from raping women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you at all times.

9. Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to rape someone, blow the whistle until someone comes to stop you.

10. Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don’t pretend that you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be raping her later. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her.

Rape prevention tips

Posted by Leigh Hofheimer under Prevention

(via lukeisnotsexy)

(Source: esmre, via wallflowersex)